Your Future Self Will Thank You Read online

  Few books have the potential to change your life as much as this one. I found it personally encouraging and challenging at the same time—a profound and practical reservoir of wisdom. Don’t just read it. Highlight it, underline it, and most of all, implement its teachings in your life. Transformation awaits!

  LEE STROBEL, New York Times bestselling author of The Case for Christ and The Case for Miracles

  It’s strange to describe a book on self-control as compulsively readable, but that’s how it is. I had no idea that learning how to get a grip on myself could be so enlightening, inspiring, and flat-out entertaining. And helpful, to boot. But that’s how it is. Drew Dyck’s latest work is a page-turner and an eye-opener. I simply couldn’t muster enough self-control to put it down. But before you judge me, you try, and see how well you do.

  MARK BUCHANAN, author, Your Church Is Too Safe

  It isn’t an overstatement to say that nearly everything ailing our society, our communities, our families, and ourselves is rooted in our lack of self-control. In the past we celebrated the virtues of self-discipline and self-sacrifice. Those days are over. Now virtually everything in our culture celebrates self-centeredness and encourages us to satisfy every desire. Where our culture has failed us, however, Drew Dyck has stepped into the breach. His book is a winsome and important exploration of the forgotten virtue that has been foundational to the Christian life, and to free societies, for two millennia. This is a conversation more Christian communities need to be having, and Dyck is the right voice to start it.

  SKYE JETHANI, award-winning author and cohost of The Holy Post podcast

  This book was exactly what I wanted it to be: Big Science + Deep Bible + Practical Next Steps. I love what Drew has done here!

  JON ACUFF, New York Times bestselling author of Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done

  Here’s the straight up truth: you need to read this book. The only thing wrong with this book is that it wasn’t written and handed to me when I was a teenager! Drew Dyck’s newest book is necessary on every level. Not only is this book true and practical, it’s a lot of fun! Drew has a winsome way of explaining things that make the book a pleasure to read. I plan on getting this book into the hands of everyone I know.

  DANIEL FUSCO, pastor of Crossroads Community Church, Author, Upward, Inward, Outward: Love God, Love Yourself, Love Others

  This book is perfect for the times we are living in. Society tells us to go for the instant gratification. “It’s all about you! If it feels good, do it!” Yet on the whole, I don’t know if we have ever been more unfulfilled or restless. This book convincingly presents the opposite viewpoint—that discipline is the path to contentment. Of course that’s easier said than done. I appreciated the author’s self-effacing tone, and his invitation to ride shotgun on his personal road trip to discovering the ability and virtue of self-control. The truths this book uncovers about this all-important character trait give hope to all of us. Read Your Future Self Will Thank You because your future self really will thank you.

  MATT BIRK, former NFL player and Super Bowl Champion; CEO, Matt Birk and Company

  Self-control is something we all need but not something we like to admit we need. In Your Future Self Will Thank You, Drew Dyck pulls back the curtain on our lack of self-control to help guide us to help (and the Helper). Your future self will thank you for reading and heeding this book!

  TRILLIA NEWBELL, author, If God is For Us, Fear and Faith, United, and the kids’ book God’s Very Good Idea

  Over the past decade, researchers have developed a rich understanding of how self-control really works. They’ve answered questions such as how to get more of it, how to best use it, and what depletes it. In this important book, my friend Drew Dyck does a great job of making sense of what this research means for Christians. He engages it with a biblical worldview, and tells us what we need to know to live more fruitful lives of more self-control. Well done!

  BRADLEY WRIGHT, sociologist, University of Connecticut; author, Upside: Surprising Good News About the State of Our World

  This book will not beat you up, but it won’t make you feel warm and fuzzy. Instead, it is a gospel-saturated, science-based approach to stewarding your life. Drew Dyck is one of the most arresting writers in the evangelical world. So go get this book today. It will be the one impulse buy you won’t regret!

  DANIEL DARLING, Communications VP at Ethics and Religion Liberty Commission; author, The Dignity Revolution: Reclaiming God’s Rich Vision for Humanity

  Drew Dyck writes with candor, humor, and urgency about a subject that has never been more essential, but more elusive than it is today—the importance of self-control. Your Future Self Will Thank You is a well-researched, accessible, and practical book about one of the Bible’s most central but most overlooked principles for living a godly, joyful, and purposeful life.

  KARL VATERS, author, Small Church Essentials and The Grasshopper Myth

  In our cultural moment, I cannot think of many subjects more in need of discussion than self-control. And I can’t think of a better person to lead that discussion than Drew Dyck. Dyck’s winsome voice pairs approachability with theological clarity and direct exhortation. He made me smile and see my own folly at the same time. I have much to learn on the subject of self-control, which makes me especially thankful for this book.

  RUSS RAMSEY, pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church Cool Springs; author, Retelling the Story Series

  Okay, I’ll admit it: I procrastinated picking up this book. But was so glad when I did! Your Future Self Will Thank You combines rich biblical insight, fascinating scientific research, and on-the-ground practical wisdom on the nature of self-control and how to integrate it into your life. While temptations and distractions are everywhere in our digital age, Drew Dyck invites us—with humor, wit, and a lot of vulnerability—to join him on a journey of transformation that ultimately empowers us to better love God, others … and our future self.

  JOSHUA RYAN BUTLER, pastor of Redemption Church; author, The Skeletons in God’s Closet and The Pursuing God

  Your Future Self Will Thank You is a practical manual and insightful field-guide to living a productive, fruitful life. With a mixture of informative psychological studies, interviews, biblical wisdom, and personal stories, Drew Dyck has written an incredible resource to help you create a life-giving future story.

  PAUL ANGONE, author, 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties (And Let’s Be Honest, Your Thirties Too)

  © 2019 by DREW DYCK

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

  Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

  Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publisher
s. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked WEB are taken from the World English Bible.

  Edited by Connor Sterchi

  Interior design: Ragont Design

  Author photo: Phil Marcelo

  Cover design: Erik M. Peterson

  Cover photo of French bulldog copyright © 2018 by retales botijero/Getty Images (112041547).

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 978-0-8024-1829-6

  eBook ISBN: 978-0-8024-9674-4

  All websites and phone numbers listed herein are accurate at the time of publication but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of website references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the site’s entire contents. Groups and organizations are listed for informational purposes, and listing does not imply publisher endorsement of their activities.

  We hope you enjoy this book from Moody Publishers. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products written and produced from a biblical perspective, go to www.moodypublishers.com or write to:

  Moody Publishers

  820 N. LaSalle Boulevard

  Chicago, IL 60610

  To my beloved boy, Athanasius

  We gave you a big name. Stick close to Jesus, develop self-control, and I promise, you’ll grow into it.

  Contents

  Publisher’s Note

  Introduction

  A FOUNDATION FOR THE SOUL

  Why I Need This Book More Than You Do

  1. WHY SELF-CONTROL?

  Because It Leads to Freedom and Flourishing

  2. SORRY, SELF-CONTROL ISN’T ABOUT YOU

  How the Right Purpose Guides and Fuels Self-Control

  3. MEETING THE ENEMIES

  What Scripture Says about Fighting the Flesh and the Devil

  4. HOPE FOR GROWTH

  How to Grow Your Puny Willpower Muscles

  5. THE TRANSFORMING POWER OF HABITS

  Making Self-Control Automatic

  6. TRAINING YOUR ELEPHANT

  Building Healthy Habits into Your Life

  7. GRACE MEANS I DON’T NEED SELF-CONTROL

  … And Other Dumb Things Christians Think

  8. DISCIPLINED LIVING IN AN AGE OF DISTRACTION

  Strategies for Self-Control in the Digital Era

  9. LEARNING FROM ADDICTS

  What Rehab Programs Reveal about Self-Control

  Conclusion

  LIFE UNDER CONTROL

  My Prayer for You

  Acknowledgments

  Notes

  More from the Author

  More from the Publisher

  Friend,

  Thank you for choosing to read this Moody Publishers title. It is our hope and prayer that this book will help you to know Jesus Christ more personally and love Him more deeply.

  The proceeds from your purchase help pay the tuition of students attending Moody Bible Institute. These students come from around the globe and graduate better equipped to impact our world for Christ.

  Other Moody Ministries that may be of interest to you include Moody Radio and Moody Distance Learning. To learn more visit www.moodyradio.org and www.moody.edu/distance-learning.

  To enhance your reading experience we’ve made it easy to share inspiring passages and thought-provoking quotes with your friends via Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, and other booksharing sites. To do so, simply highlight and forward. And don’t forget to put this book on your Reading Shelf on your book community site.

  Thanks again, and may God bless you.

  The Moody Publishers Team

  Publisher’s Note

  For the best reading experience on your eReader device, please set the default font to “Original” or “Publisher Default.”

  If you have a Nook device, please set the Publisher’s Default to “On.”

  Introduction

  A Foundation for the Soul

  Why I Need This Book More Than You Do

  Your future self will always see your present self as unwise and immature. That means you are currently a fool right now.

  —TIM KELLER

  I make the same resolutions every year.

  In case you missed the confession in that first sentence, let me point it out for you. Making the same goals every year usually means you failed the year before. But self-improvement is a persistent mistress. By the time New Year’s rolls around, I’m ready to renew my vows to a better future.

  Exercise five times a week.

  Lose twenty pounds.

  Stick to the budget.

  Not all my failures are health and finance related. Spiritual goals have a tendency to languish on my fridge as well.

  Pray for fifteen minutes every morning.

  Read through the Bible in one year.

  Volunteer in a new role at church.

  After recording these goals, I close my Moleskine notebook with a sense of anticipation and pride. I’m almost jealous of my future self. He’s going to be so skinny … and spiritual! I’m confident about my goals. I feel like they are laudable, and if the literature on goal setting is to be believed, accomplishable. They’re concrete, measurable, and (you would think) realistic.

  Yet somehow I find myself failing to meet them, year after year after year. And it doesn’t take months for my resolutions to unravel. It takes weeks. Days, even.

  What’s going on?

  On one hand, it isn’t much of a mystery. I’m the victim of a phenomenon as predictable as it is frustrating. Planning is easy; execution is hard. Anyone can sign up to run a marathon. Propelling your body over 26.2 miles of concrete is where things get rough (or so I’m told). The same is true of just about anything worth doing: it requires a good deal of effort. And most of us fail to follow through, despite our good intentions. As the witty football coach Lou Holtz once remarked, “After all is said and done, more is said than done.” If there’s anything unique about me, it’s not that I fail to meet my goals. It’s that I’m continually surprised when I trip over the gap between what I plan to do and what I’m able to accomplish.

  Of course, not all resolution-breakers are colossal failures in every area of life. I’m not. I strive to be a good husband and father. I’m gainfully employed. I have two degrees and even a couple of books to my name. Heck, I had enough willpower to squeeze out the words you’re currently reading (though you wouldn’t believe the lollygagging and avoidance behavior that preceded the actual writing).

  On the spiritual front, I’m not a total loser either. I go to church most Sundays and my closet is free of skeletons. I give to good causes. I’m assiduous in my study of theology (though embarrassingly inconsistent with Bible reading).

  And yet my failure to meet my goals—and not just ones made on New Year’s Eve—haunts me, especially when failing to do so has serious consequences.

  STUCK IN REVERSE

  My brother Darren recently had a heart attack at forty-four years old. Thankfully he quickly got to the hospital, where they threaded a thin tube through a vein in his wrist up to a blocked artery and restored blood flow to his heart. As the shock wore off and we all breathed a sigh of relief that he was going to be okay, I started to think about my own health. When it comes to heart disease, family history is the poor man’s genetic testing. When your brother, who is only five years your senior, suffers a heart attack, it’s a wakeup call. Or it should be.

  I wanted to cut my risk factors, so I hit the ground running. Literally. I fished my Nike running shoes out of the garage and started plodding around my block every evening. My diet got a makeover, too. Burgers and fries were out. Salmon and broccoli were in. I started popping fish oil pills and seeking out foods with a mysterious component called “fiber.” I took a picture of one particularly depressingly healthy meal and texted it to my brother. “Look at what you’re making me do!” I wrote.

  I hoped to minimiz
e my risk with diet and exercise, but if I needed medication, I’d take it. I promised my wife I’d talk to my doctor. As the father of three young children, I wasn’t going to take any chances. I guess this is what I needed to take my health seriously, I remember thinking. A good old-fashioned scare.

  But it wasn’t. Because a couple of weeks after the new me emerged, the old me reared his lazy, hungry head. I started supplementing my healthy meals with handfuls of Doritos each time I passed the pantry. My jogs around the block dropped in frequency, and that promised appointment with the doctor kept getting put off. One night as I sat watching TV eating a bowl of cookie dough ice cream, I stopped for a moment and thought what in the world am I doing? … and then finished the bowl.

  None of these lapses surprise my wife anymore. She shakes her head every time I announce my plans to go on another diet. And I’ve tried them all: one where I counted calories on my smartphone; another where I restricted eating to only between 2:00 and 6:00 p.m.; another where I limited my intake to only vegetables and lean meats. Few lasted for more than a week, but I’m always eager to tackle the latest fad diet that comes along. It’s become something of a joke with friends and family. I’ll start scheming about my next strict eating regimen, even as I fork unhealthy food into my mouth. Between bites, I’ll declare, “The diet starts tomorrow!”

  My lack of spiritual resolve is just as vexing. Above I boasted that I don’t have any skeletons in my closet, and it’s true. I don’t engage in illegal or scandalous activities. But I say that with the full realization that many sins I do struggle with—like pride, indifference, averting my eyes from homeless people begging for money—are just as sinister as the ones that make the evening news. Sure, I go to church faithfully. I sing songs with beautiful, inspiring truths. I listen to powerful sermons. Yet year after year, I continue to struggle with the same stupid, stubborn sins. I’m caught in my own civil war between the good I want to do and the sinful impulses holding me back.